Don't Know When I'll Be Back Again ...

A line from a favorite song. John Denver's Leaving On a Jet Plane.

How I used to love that song!

When I was younger, it always made me cry when it was time to return home after being on vacation with extended family members. My cousins would sing it to me, because they knew I'd cry. Mean, huh?! Sigh.

But I use it here, because I have to leave this little virtual corner of the world for awhile. And I don't know how long. But it will be a good, long while ... Maybe for good.

Oh, how I wish I didn't have to go!

But I must.

This may seem sudden and abrupt, but it has been something I have been discerning since before Lent. Closing comments on my blog was a little experiment to see what I should do.

I have been wrestling and questioning and wondering with the Lord, and I keep getting the same message, which was confirmed on retreat this past weekend:

You need to step back.

It is really, really hard to do this. But as my husband reminded me, "Any sacrifice is going to hurt."

And I must make this sacrifice, as hard as it is, because it is what is best for myself and for my family. And I know that deep down.

You see, lately, I have been off. I have been overwhelmed and anxious and tired. I can't quite shake it. I recognize that I am in (another) enormous transition right now—with my sixth child in eight years and our preparations underway to begin homeschooling in the fall. It is all so wonderful and good and blessed. But at the same time, it is a lot.

Rather than continuing to give in to my anxious and burned-out feelings by distracting myself and getting all the more sidetracked from my real calling, it is time to put aside some external activities that are preventing me from doing God's will in my own little life. It is time to work on being a bit more quiet, a bit more prayerful, and a bit more focused on the Lord, my family and what is required most of me.

This experience is different than just a passing phase. I've been in those, too, when life changes and I have to make adjustments accordingly. This is more physical, mental and spiritual than in the past. I don't really know how else to explain it.

Like I said before, it is hard. But it is good, too, and it is not without grace and hope!

So, with that, I say goodbye.

For nearly three years, this blog has been such fun! And it has been a blessing, too. Blogging has taught me to appreciate the ordinary, everyday moments of life. Those are the ones that make up the majority of our days, and so we can't save the celebrating and the reflecting for only the big milestones. We need to remember the everyday events, too, because God is in them more than we realize.

Also, some of you have become friends, and I am so grateful for meeting you! I am grateful for the encouragement you've given me, the prayers you've prayed for me and my family, the sweet notes along with way, the book suggestions, the many ways you've inspired me to be a better Catholic, wife and mother! So, thank you! I am sure I will pop in to visit some of you every once in awhile, because I'll miss you way too much!

But for now, I say, so long! And God bless!

26/52 :: Half-way Through the Year

Joining Barbara in ...

... 52 weeks of daily life in pictures: trials and celebrations, the extraordinary and mundane—whatever is unique to the week.

***

Baby's first time in the swing!

Summer tie-dye project. Sacred Heart of Jesus T-shirts.

(Um. Nice messy counter in the background. Obviously this is an in-the-moment photo!)

We will embellish them to make them Sacred Hearts today! There are a lot of these posts floating around, which was our inspiration. Instructions here.

Guess what arrived yesterday!

Our first big shipment of homeschool materials! The children were so excited. They immediately started looking through their books. With their enthusiasm, we could start next week. But I'm not ready =)

One question I have for all of you homeschooling pros, how do you organize all of your children's books, the ones they use everyday? Do they each have a separate bin or shelf? I think we will have a small homeschool space, even though I can see us ending up in the kitchen, or the children spreading out to do their work. But before I buy anything (bookshelves, plastic containers, etc.), I'd be interested in knowing how you store your student's everyday materials. Thanks!

And have a wonderful, patriotic weekend! God bless you!

Today ...

... on this Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ ...

... we give thanks for the gift of Jesus ...

... truly present in the Eucharist ...

25/52

Joining Barbara in ...

... 52 weeks of daily life in pictures: trials and celebrations, the extraordinary and mundane—whatever is unique to the week.

My daughter's first Irish dance competition, called a Feis. In her level, she received two firsts and one third. We are very, very proud of her.

Father's Day ~ 2011

One of Dad's gifts: a book to read to the children =)

Guess who tried a little bit of cereal for the first time this week? Yum!

(I also got a haircut. You can sort of tell in this photo. I couldn't stand it any longer! I had to cut it off for the summer. So glad I did. It is super easy!)

My 5yo lost her first tooth! It fell out while she was brushing her teeth. And yes, it went down the drain =( Thankfully, the tooth fairy still came, because this type of thing happens all of the time, you know!

Happy 38th birthday to my husband! His birthday is on the first day of summer ... always too close to Father's Day!

The Trio participated in VBS. They have used a Cat Chat program for the past two years, and it is excellent. Very Catholic. Very fun.

This week's theme was a wilderness adventure through the sacraments.

They made a lot of great crafts—a holy water font, an adventure log (for recording special moments in prayer), sun catchers and picture frames. My favorite craft that they made: spiritual first-aid kits. It went along with the sacraments of Reconciliation and Anointing of the Sick, because those are sacraments that provide spiritual first aid of sorts, healing of body and soul. (It gave me the idea that I should keep some holy water in our real first-aid kit!)

Every summer, VBS includes a service project. This year, the children collected food for the Franciscan Brothers of Peace's food shelf. A brother came on the last day to talk about his vocation and to accept the food donation from the children. Our new associate pastor, who is also a brand new priest, also shared about his call to the priesthood.

Today, I finally got around to planting my container gardens. This is just the before shot. I had to dash off to the grocery store before I could snap a few shots of everything in their pots. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Adding to the Library

Have you perused your local Target's Dollar Spot lately?

I was there yesterday and came across a few bins of classic books.

For $1!

So, I picked up copies of Heidi, Pollyanna and The Wind in the Willows to add to our home library. There were several other titles available, too.

Target must provide these once or twice per year, because I've picked up a few in the past.

What a nice (affordable) way to grow one's book collection!

Happy Reading!

P.S. I am not sure about this, but inside the books it does state "condensed and adapted." But I have young readers, so, right now, this is just fine! =) My main goal at this point is to provide them with good stories!

24/52

Joining Barbara in ...

... 52 weeks of daily life in pictures: trials and celebrations, the extraordinary and mundane—whatever is unique to the week.

***

"Let us drink the sober intoxication of the Spirit with joy."

—St. Ambrose—

Our pastor quoted that in his homily on Pentecost Sunday. It was good food for the soul! He also joyfully told us that since Pentecost is a BIG solemnity, like Christmas and Easter, we are permitted not one but three desserts! ;-)

After an authentic summer meal—grilled hamburgers, corn on the cob and watermelon—we just enjoyed the one cake, but I served it with vanilla ice cream on the side. (Strawberries like "tongues of fire" inspired by Meredith.)

Six months old!

His little cousin was born on his half birthday!

(Welcome, Bernadette!)

Summer school!

This was the favored activity of the week! Playing on the porch. It's kind of like we gained another whole room!

Freshening up the decor with some summer colors.

My two oldest girls participated in a music and art camp at a local Lutheran church. It was excellent! They enjoyed mini concerts by percussionists, African drummers and jazz musicians. They learned some wonderful songs, how to play the handbells and a few other instruments, and performed a little concert on the last day. Plus art—sculpting, drawing, stamping! I was impressed with how much they did in only four days!

***

Well, my oldest daughter is participating in her very first Irish dance competition tomorrow. We have been to the studio three times this week for extra practice. That and celebrating Father's Day is all that is on our calendar for the weekend. But that is plenty!

Happy Weekend!

Engagement Story—Revisited

From the archives: February 3, 2009

Today, I'm doing something I've never done before. I am reposting a blog post! A "from the archives" thing. Betty Beguiles is inviting bloggers to share their engagement stories, and since it has been over two years since I shared mine, I thought I'd share it again. If you've already read it, feel free to pass it by. But perhaps some kind people who are newer to my blog will enjoy it, as much as I've enjoyed reading all the other engagement stories linked up at Betty's today!

I have kept my story (almost) exactly as I wrote it on Feb. 3, 2009. Feb. 3 is my engagement anniversary. I think I added one or two lines. And I did update my family stats at the end =)

***

Today is an anniversary of sorts ... It was eight years ago today that my husband asked me to marry him, and I said, "Yes." It also is the anniversary of our first, official date.

Yes, that's right. That would mean we were engaged on our first date.

But there's more to the story than that ... Allow me to explain.

For six months prior to our engagement, Greg and I shared a Christian friendship. As we were getting to know one another, God began revealing—to each of us—His plan for us to marry.

Two weeks before Greg proposed, we met for coffee. Our conversation led us to a discussion about what we thought were the pillars of a Christ-centered relationship (marriage). Prayer, community, service and formation are the pillars we came up with. By the end of our conversation, it was clear that we were talking about us. I wondered to myself, "When are we going to start dating?"

On Feb. 3, 2001, Greg picked me up for our first date. I knew it was an official date, because he picked me up and he wouldn't tell me what we were doing. (Up until then, we had always met places, usually during the day, or we spent time with mutual friends.)

After enjoying exhibits at a science museum, we went out for dinner. Then, we drove to the church where we first met and where we both attended Mass. The church was closed for the night, but Father was there to let us in.

We went into the chapel and knelt in front of the crucifix. Greg recited Proverbs 31 to me, with which I was unfamiliar but thought was so beautiful, and he prayed in thanksgiving for our relationship. Then, he turned to me and said, "I want to walk with you to heaven." He promised to be a good husband and father to our children.

At this point, I thought he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. But no. He went right past that, got on one knee, pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him.

I was shocked indeed! But, knowing this was ultimately God's will for us, I knelt next to Greg, hugged him and said yes. Father then came in and gave us the engaged-couple's blessing.

I always remember this date with fondness, because I love thinking about our crazy story! It makes me laugh with joy! But I also reflect on what a big milestone that was on our journey together. It was just the beginning ... We put a lot of faith and trust in the Lord, jumping into our vocation, and He has indeed blessed us and given us abundant grace to embrace everything that has come our way.

Nine+ years. Six kids. A few job transfers. Four moves. In a way, it is still the beginning, especially when I think of couples married for 20, 30 ... 50 years. The Lord only knows what the future holds. I am just grateful that we are in this together, and that the Lord is guiding us every step of the way.

A Little Lesson in Overcoming Doubt

I want to begin by saying that most of my experience at my very first homeschool conference was positive, uplifting and wonderful! But like I said in my Learning Notes post, I did experience some feelings of information-overload and of being overwhelmed.

Needless to say, it was a packed weekend. So many presentations, so many notes to take, so many ideas to hear, so many books to peruse.

It was all good. Truly.

But I think that goodness is partially what caused me to feel overwhelmed. There are more options than one person could ever do! And so to pick and choose one thing over another is kind of difficult (especially when one is just starting out).

In a talk on beginning homeschooling, the presenter gave a lot of good advice, but one key thing that she said was don't get paralyzed by analyzing all of the programs you could do with your children.

And even in one of his talks, Mr. Andrew Pudewa of the Institute for Excellence in Writing said that you can't do all the good things out there, so don't worry about covering all the bases.

Good advice, indeed! But good advice is not always easy to practice.

I entered the conference thinking I had a curriculum plan for next fall. I made the decision to keep things simple as we begin this journey. I selected a curriculum, and I was very much at peace with it. I knew I couldn't handle putting together my own curriculum this year, so I decided not to put that pressure on myself. I shared my plan with my husband, and he agreed that it was a good place to start.

I knew that I wanted to look at a few specific things at the conference, just so that I could see them in person. But really, I was good-to-go.

But seeing all of the other options and hearing about the additional great ideas, well, my boat was a bit rocked, I guess. And I left the conference not being so sure of my initial plan.

Doubt had crept into my mind. And I started worrying about what I should do.

Doubt. It is an ugly thing, isn't it?

But the Lord, in His goodness, knew what I was feeling, and He helped me along by giving me a bit of encouragement: Karen Edmisten's post on the very topic of doubt.

She reminded me that doubt is not permanent. And that we shouldn't make any major decisions in times of doubt. In her own words, "The best response I've found is to hang on tight."

I instantly started feeling better after reading Karen's words. And since reading it, I decided to just sit with everything, surrendering all of it to God and asking Him to guide us to what He wants for our family. What would be best for His children? What would be best for me?

And guess what! I am feeling less doubtful and more peaceful! I have re-looked at my initial plan, and I still like it! Even after learning about all of the other things I could do. Yes, I discovered a few more things that I really like, and some of them will fit next year, and some of them may have to wait. I am OK with that.

It hasn't been totally easy for me to just "be still" with all of this information. I am excited! I want to figure out all of the details of what we'll be doing! I want to start organizing and planning!

But there really is no hurry. I can relax and enjoy some summer fun, too. And continue to be patient about it all unfolding, because it will. In time.

And in that time, He will continue to make His plan known. One way or another.

***

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."

—St. Francis de Sales

23/52

Joining Barbara in ...

... 52 weeks of daily life in pictures: trials and celebrations, the extraordinary and mundane—whatever is unique to the week.

***

It was a rather ordinary week around here. We went to the beach, but I have no photos of our fun time there. Oh well. I'm sure we'll be back plenty of times this summer.

It was 103 degrees here on Tuesday! Our northern state was that hot, if you can believe it. We go from -20 in the winter to 103 in the summer. What extremes! But how do you capture that as a photo? I guess I could of taken a photo of the dry patches in our lawn, but instead, here is a photo of what we got that day: books from the library! 56 to be exact!

A kind gift from my aunt! How I love peonies! We had them growing in the yard of our old house, and I hope to get a bush again one of these summers.

The children getting along! Yay!! We had an up and down week regarding that. Some days were great and fun, and other days, I kept wondering, "What is going on with them?" Can I blame the heat? Maybe. Today's high is only 60. Their get-along factor has been as varied as the weather this week.

Working on attaching THREE sets of Little Flowers Girls' Club badges for our tea party tomorrow morning. This is quite the chore. UGH!

Happy Friday, friends! Happy Weekend!

See you soon!

Learning Notes

Attending our very first homeschool conference this weekend, as a kick-off to our very first year of homeschooling our children, was edifying and inspiring.

(And overwhelming.)

Focusing on the positive, the edifying and inspiring, the speakers were amazing! Mr. Andrew Pudewa from the Institute for Excellence in Writing gave me and Greg a lot to think about and pray about as we begin this journey. He spoke of things we desire for our family already, but his words, his passion and his scientific proof gave us greater conviction to implement what we keep talking about.

A few key notes to ponder:

• Music is not a nice idea. It is essential! Start early.
• Music affects auditory processing, language comprehension and intelligence.
• Read the classics. But not all great minds are good!
• Remember that you can't do all the good things out there, so don't worry about covering all the bases.
• Read to your children A LOT! And do not stop when they start reading on their own. They still need you to read aloud to them. Read books that are a level above their own reading level. They need this, because on their own, they often skip vocabulary, they do not understand nuances or syntax. It is important to stop and ask questions along the way. (This was a BIG one for me. I just asked a friend about this very topic the other day. I often have read about others having read-alouds with their older children, and I wondered how they did it. Now, I have a much better understanding. And we started yesterday afternoon with The Search for the Madonna.)
• Next, have them listen to audio books A LOT.
• Memorization builds the language database.

It was a privilege to chat with Mr. Martin Cothran of Memoria Press and Margaret for a little while. Just talking with some of the people behind the scenes of various curriculum programs (that I've only heard of thus far) makes me so excited to get going! (BTW, Mrs. Cothran is extremely sweet and helped me and Greg purchase our very first piece of curriculum: Prima Latina!)

I also chatted with Mr. Jim Weiss for awhile about Story of the World (and all of the great books that fit into each historical period). My husband attended Mr. Weiss' talk on the importance of fathers and storytelling, too.

All of these educational gurus are so interesting and have this wealth of knowledge and yet are very humble and approachable. It was great to see the folks behind the scenes of Bethlehem Books and Adoremus Books, too. I think I could have bought everything in that vendor area, but I didn't :)

Another aspect of the conference that was particularly edifying was the conference attendees at large.

I attended a bloggers' chat, which was fun. I was introduced to a few new blogs—Ana Braga-Henebry, Sacred Heart Farm and The Duty of Delight—and the authors behind them, and I also caught up with Grace from Our Field of Little Flowers, who I have actually known for several years.

I just happened to sit next to Lori from Loving Them From Scratch for one of the keynotes. She is the sweetest gal! And I met Tracy from Pinewood Castle, but I am bummed that I forgot to snap a photo with her. It was really fun to meet some of the women I have chatted with online for awhile now. It was like meeting up with old friends, even though we just met.

My husband and I also were edified by the number of homeschooling families we already know. We ran into familiar faces left and right, including some old friends, folks from our parish and even a few other families from our school who also will be starting to homeschool in the fall.

While attending such a beautiful event as this conference, I couldn't help but feel like I am not alone in this. The support is there, the encouragement is available. Online and IRL! Thanks be to God for such a network! It is a blessed time to be homeschooling, that is for sure.

But with all of the information and the kind people came a bit of information overload. Margaret advised me more than once not to get overwhelmed. I did anyway.

However, that will have to be Part II of my recap of the homeschool conference, as I am doing my best to slowly digest all that I saw, heard and felt this past weekend.